9 Best Borderline Personality Disorder Books

I’ve gathered a list of the best borderline personality books, ranging from memoirs to self-help guides, and everything in between. If you or someone you know is struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder, these books can provide valuable insights and tools for managing the condition.

I’ve added purchase links to each of the books mentioned ahead for your convenience.

9 Best Books About Borderline Personality Disorder

1.”I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding The Borderline Personality” by Jerold J. Kreisman

This is a must-read, extremely informative, and very well-researched. The author is a psychiatrist and a leading expert on borderline personality disorder. It goes through the different characteristics of those with BPD thoroughly and discusses the different reasons people develop the disorder. This book also includes real-life examples and detailed explanations as to why borderlines act the way they do. Additionally, it is very helpful if you want to look into different treatments or therapies.

2.”The Way She Feels: My Life On The Borderline In Pictures And Pieces” by Courtney Cook

This is a graphic BPD memoir about the experiences and healing of a girl with borderline personality disorder. It’s real, raw, and honest. Beyond the treatments, hospitalizations, and “classic” BPD symptoms this book addresses it goes much deeper. You see life, the good, the bad, the little, and the big in the eyes of someone with the disorder. It’s extremely relatable and does a great job of “humanizing” the disorder, often demonized in the media or by health professionals. I’d say this is one of the best books for someone with BPD to read to remind themselves that they’re not alone and that the light does exist at the end of the tunnel.

3. “Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship” by Shari Manning

If you’re having a rough time with a BPD loved one, you need to get your hands on this book as soon as possible. It’s based on the principles of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). Which has proven to be the most effective treatment for borderlines. It helps explain to those without the disorder why people with BPD behave the way they do. The book teaches effective strategies for communication, setting boundaries, cooling down arguments, and helping your loved one progress in their recovery.

4. “The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program To Understand And Manage Your BPD” by Daniel J. Fox

This is one of the best BPD self-help books out there. If you’re newly diagnosed and don’t know where to start, or for some reason don’t have access to therapy this is the perfect place to begin. This book holds a lot of information, however, it’s organized in such a compassionate and easy-to-understand manner that you won’t even realize how much you’ve learned until you get through it. The exercises will help you identify your own emotional triggers and effective ways to manage them. By the time you finish it your understanding of the disorder and of yourself will forever be changed.

5. “The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating” by Kiera Van Gelder

This is a fabulous intimate memoir about the author’s experiences that led to her BPD diagnosis and her inspirational recovery through intense therapy, Buddhism, and online dating. This book is essential to all who don’t believe they’ll ever get better and want to understand what it truly means to recover and live the life you deserve.

6. “The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation” by Alan E. Fruzzetti

This guide is highly recommended to any couple where one partner has BPD. The skills and techniques taught in this guide will help tremendously with de-escalating emotionally heated situations. It will give you the tools to build emotional closeness and manage problems with negotiation instead of conflict. Although the guide includes no direct mentions of borderline personality disorder the author is a leading expert in the field.

7. “Beyond Borderline: True Stories Of Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder” by John Gunderson and Perry Hoffman

This book is a collection of 24 short stories about recovery from borderline personality disorder. The stories are edited by some of the world’s leading experts in BPD. It tells stories of the recovery of people from all kinds of demographics. So, if you or a loved one struggles with BPD you’re sure to relate. I love the individual approach to recovery this book takes, you can truly see the different solutions and paths each person has. There is no “one solution fits all” when it comes to mental illness and this book is a great demonstration of that. The stories are all very realistic and there is no glamorization of the recovery process. It’s all said as it truly is and I greatly appreciate that.

8.”Hard to Love: Understanding and Overcoming Male Borderline Personality Disorder” by Joseph Nowinski

This is one of the only resources out there targeted at men with BPD. Most research on the disorder out there is very female-centered. This is mainly because borderline personality disorder portrays differently in men than in women. According to the author, clinical psychologist, Joseph Niiwunski “BPD occurs commonly in both men and women, but is frequently misdiagnosed in men, resulting in either no treatment (or worse, jail time) or the wrong treatment.” In this book, Niwitski will help you identify the symptoms of BPD in males and gives easy-to-implement solutions, to both people with MBPD and their loved ones.

9. Talking to a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder: Communication Skills to Manage Intense Emotions, Set Boundaries, and Reduce Conflict by Jerold J. Kreiman

This is another great borderline personality disorder book for friends or family. It’s very detailed and offers specific examples of complicated situations that can arise with a loved one. The author then gives examples of how people without BPD may react to certain situations with a borderline and offers effective alternatives. His main strategy is applying the SET approach- support, empathy, and truth. I find that the book includes the perfect balance between compassion, validation, and understanding of those with BPD and respecting and maintaining the boundaries of those without the disorder.