I’m Elle and I struggle with mental illness and trauma and am still learning along the way. I want to share whatever I can to help make your journey easier.
I experienced sexual abuse at a very young age which has had long-term effects on my mental health. After the abuse, I began developing an eating disorder and started self-harming. Since I could not cope with the trauma I completely suppressed it, I had no recollection of the traumatic memories for years. When I reached my teenage years my eating disorder and self-harming behaviors reached their peak and I fell into a deep depression. I isolated myself from everyone and lost all interest in life. I was sure that life would never get better, that it couldn’t. Then what I thought at the time to be the worst possible thing that could happen, happened, my traumatic memories resurfaced and I began developing symptoms of CPTSD. I couldn’t sleep at night, I had severe panic attacks, flashbacks, and dissociative symptoms. For months I barely got out of bed and with time things only got worse. My family and friends, which I had already pulled away from had no idea how to support me and I surely didn’t have any answers. After about a year and a half of merely surviving, I decided I wanted to live. Slowly I opened up to those around me and with their support, therapy and a whole lot of willpower things started to get better. I found my passions, created a meaningful life for myself, and learned to live alongside my symptoms. It wasn’t a fast process and it isn’t over yet, I don’t think it ever will be, but I’m okay with that.